If anyone wonders where I’ve been going/gone…

The answer is: Sims 3: Pets. As if the Sims couldn’t be any more addictive, they had to make pets available for the 3rd generation of the Sims franchise.

The Sims, if you’ve been underneath a rock or in North Korea (think real remote. And without fun stuff that’s available in their Southern counterparts such as Starcraft) is a simulation game (hence the Sims, facepalm moment) where one could pretend that they’re living a much more fulfilled life than they have. Think that infamous picture of a fat man posing as a pre-pubescent girl on AOL chatrooms.

Couldn't find it with my amazing search skills so I drew it. Still sad 10 years later though.

In Sims 3 Pets, you have the ability to lose more of your life in having pets and pretending that you own a menagerie that rivals Noah’s Ark (not going to lie, one of the lifetime reward goals is to have a Noah’s Ark like life where you own many types of animals– two of each, of course).

I started my neighborhood with a girl who starts off owning a horse. What grown woman with a little girl inside wouldn’t want to own a horse? I think secretly every girl wants a horse, no matter what they say. I’m not a huge horse fan but I’ve come to own two horses. In the Sims, not in real life. Commence the judgy judgy eyes. Don’t make me set fire to your Sim’s house!

I’ll admit something though. Although I love to lose my life to the Sims, I try to limit how much life that game sucks out of me. Enter console codes. Best thing to ever happen to a gamer. With a simple console code, you could access parts of the game that you couldn’t if you were playing it vanilla (plain, without any modifications). So in the Sims 3, entering motherlode in console gives you §50,000 simoleons (Sims currency because nothing rules like the almighty §). Some codes however you have to enable the dev testing mode, which is what the powers that be (TPTB) use when they play around to make sure the game works without glitching badly. Anyway. testingcheatsenabled true is all I’ve got to say. That is pretty much your silver bullet to a werewolf scenario, the iron to your ghosts, your colt to crossroads demons (to pull a page out of Supernatural). With that one console code, you can pretty much do anything in the game (with reason, you can’t really have animal/human hybrids yet- you’re not that godly).

So the first day I play Sims 3 Pets, I got me a horse. Neigh neigh, and all the fun stuff that goes into having a horse (think a horse that doesn’t need to empty its bladder, eat, sleep, the works. Again, thank you testingcheatsenabled true). Love that sometimes when you move the characters, depending on how they move you can merge two game sprites together.

Example A:

”]Getting off horses (not literally, pervs) for a moment, you could have pets much like in the Sims 2, but now they exist in Sims 3. I don’t think they look any different compared to Sims 2 though. The graphics may be a little bit more cleaner, and more interactions in 3, and I’m a little bit lazy to reinstall 2, especially when I uninstalled it just yesterday (yadda yadda hindsight is 20/20).

You can have the regular pets, such as dogs, cats, rodents, birds. Some new additions to the game are galloping wild deer, and wild horses. The new neighborhood Appaloosa Plains is very animal friendly, wide open spaces and everyone owns pets. Now where’s Bella Goth? I need to find her and give her a cat or something.

The coolest part of the game? Unicorns! I mean, sure besides being able to teach your pets how to hunt for minor pets (snakes/turtles/rodents) or sniff for gems/meteorites is pretty cool. You can outsource the work you usually would do in Sims 3 to your pets. Who says having pets aren’t fun? So yes, the unicorns. They only appear in certain areas at certain times of the night, doesn’t that just exude mystery? AND you could befriend it (bring it home and enslave it to do your bidding love) So yes, if you ever want to hunt for unicorns in your area, check out your heavily wooded forests around 4AM-5AM. Just avoid the people trolling for sex and cutting crack in the dark corners.

Remember our little friend the console code? Yes.

My preciousssssssss.

Did I mention that unicorns come in black and white? Now you know. It’s actually kind of cool. I wished that they made it look a bit more ethereal though. I mean, how are regular sims supposed to recognize what I’m riding through town? Yeah, get on that in an update EA!

In conclusion, Sims 3 Pets is awesome and I’m going to have my little Sim ride her unicorn through town and be like the modern version of Nyan Cat (Youtube it at your own risk, no rickrolls here).

Nyan Horse!

So with that, see you in a week!