Let me be upfront here: I’m not a huge zombie fan. Just like I’m not a huge tomato fan, but I will eat it from time to time, I will tolerate zombies depending how well they are portrayed.
Every week I’ll watch Walking Dead, hoping that the episode airing is better than the last. Sadly I’m always disappointed. It’s like being told that you’re getting ice cream and they give you a goat cheese log every time. Every single time. Watching Walking Dead is like eating a goat cheese log. There’s just no satisfaction to it (unless you like horrible tasting cheese). I suppose there’s a sweet taste somewhere with the cranberries, but you just end up with more goat cheese than you want.
So this past week was its mid-season finale. Rick and company are at Hershel’s farm and they hope to stay a little bit longer. Our resident bad boy Shane, who’s probably Lori’s baby daddy/Andrea’s potential booty call/Dale’s nemesis is at the barn trying to get the undead loved ones within to pull a scene from Green Mile. There’s no tunnel but there’s a lot of escaping to be done. The b-plot of the missing little girl Sophia is still around, with Carol trying to get by and praying that she’s still alive. Now for those of us in the seen-it-a-mile-away club, what do we have? Zombies in the barn + antagonist aching to act out + missing girl = crappy mid-season finale.
To be fair, their crappiness can really go both ways.
Good and bad. Remember what we said about it constantly disappointing us? Yeah.
Kraken ahead! Aka spoilers.
The little girl is in the barn!
See? You could’ve seen it a mile away. She’s a cute little zombie though I still have to admit.
A few things I’d like to point out though (due to theme formatting, there’s no screaming involved. Apparently quoting/bullet points are automatically in CAPS):
- What the hell was she doing in the barn?
You could argue that she wandered into Hershel’s place way before Rick & Company made their way, but how did she get into the barn when the only way in was through a padlocked door? There’s also an area where the family members access to feed their undead loved ones (eg: horrible scene the episode before where someone was feeding the zombies by breaking the legs of a chicken and throwing it from the rafters- hello PETA?), but how could Sophia get up there, and then not hear any- oh I don’t know- undead noises? What happened to little children hearing things adults can’t?
- What if Hershel & Family knew of Sophia when they lassoed her from the river/swamp/wherever zombies lurk on one of their rescue missions?
I was thinking about that, maybe they knew and they kept Sophia because she was a little child who potentially could have been cured somewhere down the road. But when Rick and Hershel were out “saving” Hershel’s neighbors, why wasn’t that brought up? I’m thinking somewhere along the lines of:
Hershel: Hey Rick, thanks for helping me out. Why is that skinny lady always crying?
Rick: Oh Carol? Yeah we’ve been searching for her missing daughter Sophia when we came upon your farm.
Hershel: Missing daughter you say? How old is this girl?
Rick: Oh she’s real small, just like Carl.
Hershel: You don’t say! My word, why just we rescued a little one just like Carl a few days before you happened upon the farm and our awful little secret!
Rick: Really? Mind if we took a look at her when we put these two into the barn?
Hershel: Sure! I’m sure Carol would be real happy we found her little girl. Now all we need is a cure.
Rick: Oh she’ll need a cure like a bullet in the head.
Hershel: What’s that Rick?
Rick: Oh nothing, don’t worry. You’ll see it at the last minute of this episode!
I’ve never held a gun before, but I’ve held replicas and they are pretty darn heavy. Considering how much force it takes for a bullet to leave the chamber of a gun, why the heck do we never see any knockbacks from the guns– especially when the person holding is isn’t quite muscular (eg: Andrea, who just stands still while the muzzle flashes. Does not compute). Think Newton’s 3rd law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Bullet force pushing out, gun force knocking back. I don’t know why they just can’t get the actors to at least pretend they’re not superhumans who do not get affected by this simple fact.
Although without personality, the unnamed actors are supposed to sell us the idea of the undead. Act like it! What’s with that scene in that watering hole where the two zombies that Hershel & Rick (& son, but we don’t really care about him b/c you know he’ll be d-d-d-d-dead coming back from mid-season break) rescue. They just stand there growling and snarling and slowly moving. Depending on how long they’ve been there, shouldn’t they be falling down into the water, trying to crawl their way out? And wouldn’t their bones be snapped and breaking had they were crawling? Again, not a zombie fan, but I would assume that a zombie wouldn’t just stay stationary like that. After a while, they would’ve broken their legs and would have been crawling. I guess the Walking Dead people didn’t feel like spending that money on CGI half zombies, and instead used that CGI money for the fake muzzle flash for their fake shooting scenes.
So that’s pretty much it folks in a nutshell. If you haven’t watched the mid-season finale, I’ve saved you some heartbreak. Can’t wait til when they come back,
whenever the heck that is. on February 12, 2012.